Robert Fulghum gained fame and fortune from his book All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten. I find that to be an intriguing thought, and while it might be a bit of hyperbole, there is also much truth in it.
Among the most essential lessons parents and teachers can pass on to young children is how to get along well with others. To play nice in the sandbox some might say. Face it, while babies are cute and mostly wonderful, they are also the definition of self-centeredness. When they have a need to be fed, comforted, unsoiled, etc., they have no problem letting you know that, regardless of the time of day or night, or whatever else may be happening at the moment.
You likely know people who never seemed to grow out of that phase. They only have two major requests from life – to have their way and right now! My hunch is these are not high on your list of people you want to hang out with. While some people can brighten a room just by entering it, these people can brighten any room just by leaving it.
For the past couple of years, I have been privileged to serve on the city of Farmington Community Relations Commission. Sadly many citizens have never heard of the CRC. Founded in 2007 our mission is “To promote ways in which the community provides and safeguards equal opportunities for all.” Through various programs, events, and community partnerships, we endeavor to raise awareness of, and increase the presence of, civility among our diverse population.
Unfortunately, civility is not a commonly used term in our society, and its opposite occurs far too frequently. To address that situation, my predecessors on the commission developed the Civility First Initiative. The initiative consists of ten qualities that when put into practice will greatly enhance the quality of life of the entire community. These ten qualities, or traits, are:
- Citizenship: Recognizing the duties, obligations, and functions of being a part of a community.
- Compassion: The desire and willingness to help someone in need.
- Consideration: Thoughtful regard for others.
- Courtesy: Demonstration of polite behavior.
- Inclusiveness: Ensuring anyone who wants to be included is included.
- Kindness: Being kind.
- Respect: Recognizing the worth of others.
- Responsibility: Being accountable for something within one's power.
- Sincerity: Being earnest and genuine.
- Tolerance: Being permissive toward those whose opinions or practices differ from your own.
To help encourage the practice of these 10 traits we engage in awareness campaigns with schools, the Navajo Nation and other partner entities. Last year, we began filming episodes of the Mayor’s Table in which we highlighted local businesses who we thought exemplify these qualities as a regular part of their business. We plan to do more of this so if you know of a business we should consider please let us know.
We also serve as a resource for anyone who feels they were discriminated against in our community. We have various resources and means to address such concerns. If you, or someone you know feel they have been discriminated against we have a complaint form link at https://bit.ly/RelationsComm.
One would think a column espousing the virtues of civility should not be necessary since everyone knows the value of living life that way. As you have likely come to realize, knowing and doing are not always the norm. So let me encourage you in your private and public relationships to focus on the ten traits of civility and honestly ask yourself which ones might need a bit more attention. There is no guarantee that this will enhance your overall life satisfaction, but as my Jewish grandmother used to say about chicken soup – it couldn’t hurt.
Ron Price, who has a master’s degree in counseling from the University of New Mexico, is author of the “Play Nice in Your Sandbox” book series and creator of the CPR Mastery video course. He is available for workshops and staff training. Contact Ron at ron@ronprice.com and (505) 324-6328. Learn more at ronprice.com.
