My mom passed on to me along my nose, insomnia and a love for old movies. That’s a hint. Like the fictional Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard, Greta Garbo was big in the movies, and when she retired, said, “It was the pictures that got small.”
Garbo was a movie star of the highest caliber in the 1920s and 1930s. You may remember her in “Anna Karenina” or “Grand Hotel.”
OK, if you remember Garbo, then you remember her signature line. “I want to be alone.” Of course, through the years mimics have had to add their own bad versions of her European accent, “I vant to be alone.”
The reason I invoke Garbo here is because I have been vainly trying to invoke her signature line for weeks, and the Lord and the Lord’s people just won’t let me.
Long story short, I became quite ill at the beginning of June. I mean, I don’t get sick often, but when I do I do it right. I was very sick. When I am sick I transform from nice 140-pound pastor type with a ready laugh into a 2,000-pound grizzly bear. I especially made this transformation a few weeks ago. Here is why.
Over the last year or so, I have lost upwards to 75 pounds by eating incredibly healthy and exercising daily. I worked and worked at getting healthy. My blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar levels have all plummeted. I have gone from taking four medications a day to one little ole aspirin. I have been sinfully proud of myself and have felt fantastic.
Then I became ill, very ill. No simple head cold for me. I was forced into two trips to the emergency room in two days. For a few days there I was angry and disappointed with God. The Lord God and I had more than a few heart-to-heart conversations..
“Lord, I have done everything right physically. And this is what I get?”
It was then I quoted Garbo. I said to God, “I want to be alone.” Then I did the unthinkable. I turned off my cell phone. I locked myself in my house. I didn’t want to talk to God. I didn’t want to talk to people who might talk about God. I just wanted to feel lousy. I wanted to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to be alone.
You see, I have found pain and illness and disappointment tend to isolate me. They make me selfish and angry. They turn me into a grizzly. I want to be alone.
But, thanks be to God. Our God is an awesome God. Our God reigns. Our God loves. Our God forgives. Our God overlooks a lot. Our God cannot be ignored.
Our God laughed at my poor imitation of Greta Garbo. God will not let me be alone.
“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
It took me a few days, to realize again that I am forgiven 70 times 7 times. I am loved more than I could ever imagine. And Jesus chooses to yoke with me, even when I am at my worst physically, emotionally and spiritually.
And that yoke thing taught a second lesson. No matter what, I can’t be alone because Christ has yoked me with friends and other Christians. Even with my phone turned off, my wife, my kids, other Christians, and my church family found me, supported me and loved me in real ways.
In Philippians 4:3, the Apostle Paul urges “my true yokefellow” to support and love struggling Christians in real ways. I have experienced it this month, even when I thought I wanted to be alone.
The lesson I learned and the one I want to share is simple: It is hard, maybe impossible, to carry our burdens by ourselves. Thanks be to God, we are yoked to Jesus and each other, even when we think we want to be alone. Jesus and our brothers and sisters in Christ are always ready to take up the yoke with us. And thanks to brothers and sisters in Christ and the Savior Himself, we can never truly be alone, even if we think we vant to.
Steve Nofel is co-pastor of Montezuma Valley Presbyterian Church.
